Defining Relationships Friendship & Dating

People express and receive love in different ways. Dr. Gary Chapman identifies these as the five languages of love".
1. Quality Time - Attention, quality conversation, time spent together doing something meaningful or enjoyable. Time is Love. Attention is love.
2. Words of Affirmation - "You are beautiful". Words of acknowledgment, encouragement, or appreciation. "You are a giving, loving, kind, warm person. I love who you are". Words of affirmation are words of love.
3. Gifts - From big to small. Flowers. Gifts. Cards. Cars. Houses. Jewelry. Stuffed Animals. Clothing. A gift can be a great gift of love. Some people feel most loved with a gift.
4. Acts of Service - Cooking dinner, washing the car, running an errand, cleaning the house, helping with a task, time spent in contribution to another.
5. Physical Touch - Affection. Massage. Making love. Of course, everyone has their favorite way to be touched. And, touch equals love to many.
Knowing these 5 Love Languages allows you to GIVE and RECEIVE love from others more fully. Of course, we all can appreciate and enjoy each "love language", however there is typically one or two that make you feel MOST LOVED. Which one is your primary love language? How do YOU show love toward those you love? What we tend to do for others, is often a clue to what we enjoy receiving most.
"If you express love in a way your partner doesn't understand, he or she won't realize you've expressed love. Perhaps your husband needs to hear encouraging words, but you feel like cooking a nice dinner will cheer him up. When he still feels down, you're puzzled. Or, maybe your wife craves time with you -- time away from the kids & TV. The flowers you gave her just don't communicate that you care."
--- The 5 Love Languages
How I've used the "5 Love Languages"...
1. Noticing my own "love language"......what makes me feel most loved? Then, I can ask for more of what I want. For me, that's "Quality Conversation/Time", and Affection.
2. FEELING more love from others, even if they don't know about the 5 Love Languages. If anyone in my life gives me quality time, a word of affirmation, a gift, an act of service or is affectionate with me......I take it as LOVE now. So, as a result, I feel much more love from my friends, family and significant others.
3. Noticing "others" Love Language, so that I can ensure my friends, family AND significant others feel the love I have toward them. It's not just about romantic relationships. And, it's more fun spending quality time, giving a word of affirmation, a gift, an act of service, or affection.....because I'm "intentionally" sending more love with each of these.
Get "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.....and learn more about applying these concepts in your life to maximize the love you give and receive in your relationships.

Labels: Love Languages

You¡¯ve spent the past three weekends sitting at home. The first weekend you spent watching the crack on the ceiling grow. The second weekend changed your life.... that¡¯s the weekend that you discovered Meet2Go and your new life of dating and fun began. Last weekend, you waded through the dozens of emails and found the one. Or at least, he was the top on your list. Okay, he was top on the list for this weekend. Next weekend, you already have a new number one picked out. For the first time, finding a compatible, attractive date was the easy part. And it didn¡¯t involve your Mother, Aunt, or hair dresser. There is a lot of preparation that needs to be done, and not much time to do it. Aside from finding a new outfit to wear and making sure that everything is perfect, the big question is ¡°how do I know what he¡¯s thinking
Eye Contact: One of the first things to notice is his eye contact. Of course he¡¯s looking at you, but is his gaze fixed on you? People who are interested tend to hold eye contact for a few extra seconds. Not long enough to be considered staring, and thus scaring, but long enough to take the person in. If you¡¯re able to, watch his pupils. If they dilate, it¡¯s often an uncontrollable sign of interest. However, this is a hard one to master.

Body Position: Is he facing you squarely, or positioned away from you? If your ¡°target¡± is truly interested, men (and ladies!) tend to position themselves squarely at the person which they are talking to, presumable to pay full attention to that person. Ever talk to someone while they¡¯re angled 45 degrees and reading the paper? Without saying a word, you know that this person isn¡¯t interested. If the person is squared up with you, like a tackle getting ready to sack the quarterback, you know that they¡¯re interested. Hopefully not in tackling you, or at least not until after dinner!

The Touch Barrier: Outside of shaking hands, we tend only to touch people that we find attractive. And this all starts with a little touch. It may start with him telling an animated story and putting his hand on your arm while he acts out a scene, or helping you navigate through a crowed restaurant. Once the touch barrier is broken, all things can change.

If you want to achieve success with online dating, you will need to educate yourself with the online dating scene. Online dating sites provide a service for people to meet but a dating site can only do so much of the work and input is required from you if you are serious about meeting a partner online.
Whilst thousands of people are joining dating sites every day, hundreds are not making the most of the services a dating site has to offer. I’m no psychic but I’m pretty certain that someone who writes a dull or uninformative profile, doesn’t include a photo and makes no effort to contact anyone will not be inundated with invitations for a date.
By making a few simple changes to the way you are dating online, you could see instant results meeting people you would never have met before so don’t be a wallflower, stand out online and be proactive in your search for a date.
1. Sell Yourself
Your profile is like an advertisement and you need to sell yourself in the dating game.
The eye-catching part of you profile is your photo. Include a photo of yourself (not someone else or a cartoon!) and you could increase your responses by as much as 8 times.
Answer all questions honestly, be positive, focus on your good points and provide members with just enough information about yourself so that they are eager to find out more. Please don’t talk about exes or how miserable your life is…. it won’t attract people to you!
2. Search outside of the box
We may all have an idea of our ideal partner but just because someone is slightly younger, older or from a different town doesn’t mean they won’t turn out to be your ideal partner! Most dating sites provide a search facility to vary your search settings so if your search results don’t reveal anyone who catches your eye try widening your search settings.
3. Get intimate anonymously
The beauty of online dating is that you can get to know someone without revealing any personal details. Emails are sent using an anonymous messaging facility so take advantage of this and spend as long as you wish getting to know someone. Don’t feel pressured into meeting up with someone you have just met online. If they are serious, they will be happy to wait if this is your preference.
4. Make the first move
Don’t be shy – you make the first move. Remember everyone online is serious about meeting someone so, if you see someone you like, contact him or her first. Don’t wait for someone to contact you.
5. Make conversation
Show your interest - The best way to get someone’s attention and get a response is to ask a question specific to his or her profile. This shows you have read their profile and are interested in them.
Flatter them! - Don’t be afraid to use your charm! Whether you like their photo or you are impressed by the fact that they have run the marathon – tell them. Everyone likes receiving compliments.
Make them laugh! - I think if you can make someone laugh or someone makes you laugh, you’re on the path to a good relationship. Be witty and amusing in your messages and they will look forward to hearing from you.
Be flirtatious, not rude! – Don't be afraid to flirt a little if that's how you feel but equally don't be too flirtatious as it could be taken the wrong way. Never talk about sex or imply this is what you are looking for.
6. Keep a little mystique!
Whilst I would encourage you to talk openly and honestly about yourself so that people get to know you try not to tell your whole life story in one e-mail. Hold a little something back for the next message.
7. Arrange a chat room date
Chat rooms are another great way to chat instantly with someone without revealing any personal information. A quality chat room will also provide the facility to have a private one-to-one chat with someone so if you’ve messaged someone, why not invite them to meet you in the chat room at a specific time and day… just like a “real” date. You can then decide whether you want to take it further “offline”.
8. Chat on the phone
If you’re thinking of arranging a date with someone, chat to him or her on the telephone first but use the blocking feature to prevent your number appearing on Caller ID. Go over topics that you’ve mentioned in emails to verify that what he or she has told you is the truth. Ask yourself if the voice you are talking to is someone you feel comfortable with and someone you could trust.
9. Don’t be disheartened
If you’ve sent a message but haven’t received a reply, don’t be disheartened. There could be many reasons why someone hasn’t replied to a message you’ve sent; the recipient may not have logged on for a while, their membership may have lapsed or they may not be a full member entitling them to reply back to you.
If you’ve sent one message then follow it up with a second message to show him or her that you are genuinely interested. If you still don’t get a response, move on to the next person!
10. Give people a chance
If you receive a message from someone who does not immediately tick all of your boxes, don’t rule them out straight away. Reply back to him or her and try and find out a bit more about them. You may have more in common than you first thought and, if not, at least you can say you tried.
11. Be polite when rejecting
If you don’t like someone who has contacted you, do not be rude or offensive. You can either ignore them (hopefully this will get the message across) or politely tell them you are not interested. A reputable dating site will provide a facility to “block” nuisances sending you messages so, if someone is pestering you, don’t be afraid to use this tool.
12. Be safe!
Do not give anyone your home telephone number, address or workplace address until you have met a number of times and are 100% comfortable with that person. Remember that people can be whoever they want to be online - wait until your instincts tell you this is someone you can trust.

Labels: dating, online dating

Have a Photo
In this day and age of online dating a photo is a
must. Posting an up to date photo is also
essential.
Make sure it's nice, clear and flattering. But
not too flattering. You want to look like the
person in the photo when you actually meet your
date. You don't want one where it's dark and hard
to see what you look like. Make sure it's bright
and close up with just your head and shoulders in
the picture. The better the quality of your photo
the more response you will get.
It's the first thing anyone will look at.
Your profile is selling you
Remember your profile is selling YOU. What would
you want to read in a profile that would make
that single stand out from the rest? Try out more
than one dating site. Vary your profile a little
bit in each one and see which gets the most
responses. Remember, you are paying for the
privilege to post your profile and get to know
eligible singles. Make your profile reflect this.
Take your time
Take your time when creating your profile. This
will make you look like a more serious online
dater as well. There's no point in rushing it. It'
s there to be clicked on, not ignored.
Refine your profile
Go back to your profile once in a while. Refine
it with subtle changes. You might go back to it
one day and say "Did I right that about myself!"
A small change could make the difference in
getting more attention. So use these online
dating profile tips and take your time and put a
bit of forethought into it, and then you will...

Labels: Interracial Dating