Lets be Friends - Understand True Friendship

Infidelity: How to Forgive Yourself for Cheating BY Michelle Langley

2010-02-18T08:42:00.000-08:00

There is plenty of information available to help the spouse who's been cheated on, yet there is very little information available to help the wayward spouse. Countless relationships end as a result of infidelity. However, it's not necessarily because the spouse found out and couldn't forgive the behavior; it's because the person who cheated couldn't forgive themselves.

If you are trying to come to terms with having cheated on your spouse, then you need to start viewing cheating for what it is - a bad choice. It's nothing more and nothing less. The old adage, "once a cheater, always a cheater" is nothing more than a judgment which is intended to deter people from cheating in the first place. Don't buy into this belief about yourself. Who you are today is not who you were yesterday. Likewise, who you are in a burning building is very different from who you are at a picnic. Our circumstances at any given moment can change who we are, once we understand this about ourselves we can begin to live at a level of awareness where choosing our behavior becomes possible.

Many would argue, (myself included) that it's best to tell your spouse what has happened, unfortunately though, many of us aren't in relationships that can withstand anything less than the image we project. However, that's not to say that our relationships can't or won't get to that level in the future.

If you find that you're in a situation where you don't feel you can share your indiscretion with your spouse without destroying your relationship, and yet, you also don't feel as though you can remain in your relationship without disclosing what's happened, then try the following:

First, find a couple hours where you can be alone without any chance of being interrupted (you will need a pen and notepad for this exercise). Now, I want you to write down everything that happened leading up to and including the indiscretion. The process is the same whether it was a one time encounter or an ongoing affair.

After you have written down everything in vivid detail, try to remember if there was anything you were afraid of prior to the incident. Typically, some type of fear precipitates cheating on a partner. For instance, were you afraid of not having anything to look forward to in the future? Were you afraid of getting older? Did you feel that this was your last chance at happiness and/or excitement? Were you afraid that your spouse was cheating on you? Really try to think back to what you were feeling at the time.

After you're finished answer this question, If I could go back, would I still make the same decision today, or would I choose differently? If your answer is "yes, I would choose differently," then write down all of the reasons you would make a different choice today.

I want you to reread everything that you've written. Take it all in one last time. Now, I want you to tear up what you've written and throw it away. You've acknowledged what's happened and you've come to the conclusion that this is not a decision you would make again in the future. Therefore, there is no need to revisit this experience again.

However, you may find that there are times when you will still feel guilty. Cheating is a little like dieting. So often when people cheat on their diets, they give up and stop trying to diet at all. It can be the same way with cheating on your spouse. People often give up on their relationships because they cheated. The guilt causes the cheater as well as the dieter to want to start over with a clean slate. So, the dieter goes on a binge and decides to start fresh with a new diet. Likewise, the cheater does the same thing - they give up on their relationship and they decide to start fresh with a new partner. If you can see the insanity in this behavior in terms of dieting then you should also be able to see the insanity in this behavior when it comes to relationships. A dieter with this type of mentality will most likely never lose weight; instead they will simply keep going back to the beginning, or in other words, starting over. If you apply this same logic to your relationship, expect the same results; plan to continue going back to the beginning to start over again with a new partner.

In the future, if you start to feel guilty about this again, I want you to read the following paragraph. In fact, reread it every time you catch yourself starting to feel even a twinge of guilt:

My relationship is not tarnished because of my behavior. I made a bad choice; however, no single decision has the potential to define who I am. I have not lost anything from this experience except the ignorance which is necessary to judge myself and others. I will forgive myself today - only by doing so will I be able to love and give again to the people around me

Now, I want to leave you with a question.

Wouldn't you rather be in a relationship with someone who knows they are capable of cheating and yet they are consciously choosing to be faithful; as opposed to someone who mistakenly thinks they are just naturally incapable of certain behaviors? If you have cheated on your partner you now have the ability to choose to be faithful instead of naively or childishly just assuming it about yourself; which means you now have the wisdom and experience to be truly trustworthy.

See, you really do deserve to be free from this guilt!

Herbs To Improve Performance And Staying Power Naturally! BY Kelly Price

2010-02-07T09:08:00.000-08:00

If you want to enjoy better and longer lasting sex, then the herbs enclosed can improve both your sexual performance and staying power and they will work for both men and women - lets take a look at them in more detail.

You can get all the herbs we will look at in this article in blended sex pills for men and women, so you can get all the herbs in one easy and convenient daily serving.

Nitric Oxide the Key Sex Chemical

Nitric oxide is the chemical which ensures men get an erection in fact, no erection can ever come to fruition without it and also helps men can last longer in bed. In terms of women it ensures they enjoy better sexual performance and enjoy more satisfying orgasms - so what does this sex chemical do?

When nitric oxide is secreted, it widens and dilates the blood vessels which lead into the sex organs, so they can fill with more blood and harden and the really good news is - you can boost levels naturally with the herbs Horny Goat Weed, Cnidium and Ginseng.

Testosterone Boost Levels for Increased Sex Drive and Staying Power

Most people know that men need testosterone for peak sexual wellness and general health but women also need it or low libido can occur and sex can even become painful. Levels decline with age and many people can improve sexual performance and satisfaction by boosting levels. The two ancient Chinese herbs of Tonkgat Ali and Tribulus, are seen as the best herbs to boost levels quickly and they also contain a range of nutrients to improve sex drive and enhance satisfaction from orgasm.

Get them ALL in the Best Natural Sex Pills

You can get all the above herbs and many others in the best herbal sex pills for men and women and they will improve both your sexual health and general levels of wellness at the same time - try them and you will be glad you did.

Signs Your Boyfriend is Going to Propose by Gillian_Reynolds

2010-01-31T08:39:00.000-08:00

As women we have this amazing inner instinct when it comes to the man in our lives. We can generally tell when something is bothering him, when he's hiding something and when he can't contain his excitement. The one area that many women just aren't sure of is whether or not their boyfriend is on the same page as they are regarding getting married. Although you and he may have talked about taking that next step, unless there's a ring on your finger, you can never be sure he's actually ready to walk down the aisle. There are actually some signs your boyfriend is going to propose that will give you a glimpse into what's in store for your future with him.

One of the most obvious signs your boyfriend is going to propose is he'll be busy planning your life together. This typically includes things like talking about whether you two should be buying a home together or how much money he needs to be investing in his retirement plan. His mind is focused squarely on the future and each time he brings it up he includes you in it. If he looks to you for your opinion more and more on really important matters that deal with his future plans, he considers you his life partner already.

Another sign that he's about to pop the big question is you'll have recently spent more and more time with his friends and family. Men like to see how their future wife fits in with all the really important people in their lives. He wants to ensure that his parents approve of you and that you can hang out with and have fun with his friends. If he makes excuses for why you can't accompany him to family celebrations or if you don't know any of his friends very well, that's not a promising sign and you may have to wait a while yet before you'll get a marriage proposal.

A man on the verge of proposing will also give it away through his body language. He may stare more longingly into your eyes when you two are together or he'll hold your hand a bit longer than he usually does. He's doing this because he feels closer to you than he ever has before. Men who are just about to pop the question are often just as overwhelmed with emotion as the woman on the receiving end of the proposal.

5 Common Relationship Breakers BY Linda Jones

2010-01-27T09:50:00.000-08:00

There are many things that can get wrong or from bad to worse in a relationship... it is depressing how many couples split-up because of stupid reasons. If you have the slightest feeling that your relationship is in jeopardy or if you inquire what went wrong in ex-relationships, take a look at the list below.

There are 5 "don'ts" in a relationship.

1. Betrayal of the partner

Absolutely unforgivable-you have seen couples that break up because of this, even families. It is hard to forgive and forget, broken pieces stay broken, this is life.

2. Being a private eye

If you check on your partner continuously, visit unannounced... he/she will get tired of the relationship. Everybody wants freedom, a private space, friends... Love means trust and respect, it is not funny on scrutiny all the time, do not act as a detective, act as a lover.

3. Lack of emotional support and attention

In a relationship mutual support and attention are essential. We are humans and we crave for being with our loved one, for better and for worse... when it doesnt happen we feel lonely and rejected. If you have such a problem, deal with it, do not avoid it. Stay close to one another.

4. Too many fights

Lets face it, in every relationship there are fights. Believe it or not, specialists say they clarify things, but do not dramatize, or raise your voice or offend.
Things clarify themselves if you have patience.
In a relationship, when it comes to fights silence is golden and too many of them ruin what you both have built with love and care.

5. Boredom and lack of spontaneity

Do not let boredom to step in, be creative and spontaneous. Think of common hobbies, activities that make both of you happy.
If love is in the air, every day would be a celebration of your relationship.
Even a ride in the park on rollers can be fun, or going to a movie, exhibition, disco, party.

Before doing anything that can affect your relationship, meditate a bit. Is it worth doing it and ending up alone?

Tips For Women Dealing With Men With Commitment Issues - How to Get Him Serious About You by Gillian Reynolds

2009-04-06T23:38:00.000-07:00

Men with commitment issues bring their own special challenges to the relationship arena. Any woman who has ever dated a man like this knows that it's not an easy journey. If you love him, it's that much more difficult. Trying to get a man to enter into a more serious relationship when he's dead set against it feels virtually impossible. There are some tips that can help women facing this. If your guy has told you that marriage just isn't in his future, don't give up on him just yet.

Arguably the worst thing women can do when they are involved with men with commitment issues is to belabor the point of a more serious connection. Just as a small boy will fight you tooth and nail when you tell him that you want something he doesn't, a grown man will do much the same thing. The more you pressure your boyfriend for an engagement ring, the more he won't want to buy you one. Men like this need to be handled in a very specific way and it starts with dropping all talk of marriage, or anything more serious than dating.

Another very effective tip for women dealing with men with commitment issues is in addition to changing your attitude about marriage, change your availability as well. If you are constantly available whenever your man wants to see you, you are sending him a silent message that suggests that he has you all to himself. He doesn't have to try anymore because he feels that you are his regardless of a serious commitment. Get busy doing different things including spending more time out with friends. A great way to jolt a man into realizing how much you mean to him is to take a short vacation with some girlfriends without him. Don't give him much warning at all. Just tell him that you'll be gone for a few days and you'll get in touch with him when you get back. This one move can completely shift the dynamic of the relationship and make him fear he's losing you.

There are specific things that any woman can say and do that will make her men want to commit to her. If you believe that he is the man you are destined to be with there are things you can do right now that will make him feel exactly the same way about you. For more insight into how to get your man to commit to you, visit this Helpful Site!

Celebrating girls night with cool party invitations and ideas by Amy Carter

2009-03-12T23:02:00.000-07:00

Getting together with your girlfriends can be a fun way to blow off some steam. And it can be down right necessary. We all get busy with work, family and other commitments and we need to remember to make time to check in and reconnect with our friends. Get your girls together for a fun night out with a perfect party invitation. Pick a fun themed invitation to hint at your plans for 'girl's night' and soon you'll be laughing and having a great time.
Out on the town

If your friends don't like to sit around then a night of club-hopping and dancing is right up their alley. Get dressed up and hit the town for a 'girl's night out.' Pick out a dancing or cocktail themed party invitation to get everyone in the right mood. A night on the town is a great way to find a new club, blow off some steam and even get some together time with your best friends. You might even consider renting a car and driver to take you from place to place and back home again. Just remember to bring your dancing shoes.

Shopping

Maybe you and your girls need a little 'retail therapy?' Gather your friends and head over to the mall or your favorite stores to bond while you beat the racks and get some great deals. A purse and shoe party invitation would be perfect for your shopping spree plans. Shopping with friends can be very relaxing. Not only is shopping a great way to reconnect, but you know that your girlfriends will tell you what they honestly think of that outfit you're going to buy.

Spa treatment

Sometimes you need to get together with your friends, slow down and have a massage and spa treatment. Spa treatments and pampering can do wonders to relax and rejuvenate you and your girlfriends. Set aside a whole day or night for a massage, facial, manicure or pedicure - whatever is going to make you feel better. Pick a spa that can not only accommodate you and your group but will also let you get some treatments together. Lots of spas will allow you to have manicures, pedicures, facials and more as a group so you can talk and enjoy the company of your friends. Your spa day deserves a relaxing party invitation. Pick images that are relaxing and perhaps even lavender or eucalyptus scented for a calming touch.

Stay home

There is nothing wrong with making 'girl's night' a night in. Stay home, order pizza and catch up on your movie watching. Make a note on your party invitation that you're staying in for a subdued 'girls night in.' Or if you're thinking of something with a little more kick, host a wine tasting. Add in some snacks to compliment the wine and you've got a great night. There are many cute and clever wine themed party invitations to choose from for your girls' wine tasting. This is not only a great chance to catch up over a glass of wine, but you might also discover a great new wine.

Take some time out for you and your friends. A night to reconnect with your girlfriends can be important for your relationships and even your sanity. Put the rest of the world on hold and spend some quality time with those who know you best: your girlfriends.

Check out MyExpression.com for great party invitations. You'll also find great themed party invitations

The 5 Love Languages:By Mary Allen

2007-11-05T20:27:00.000-08:00

People express and receive love in different ways. Dr. Gary Chapman identifies these as the five languages of love".
1. Quality Time - Attention, quality conversation, time spent together doing something meaningful or enjoyable. Time is Love. Attention is love.
2. Words of Affirmation - "You are beautiful". Words of acknowledgment, encouragement, or appreciation. "You are a giving, loving, kind, warm person. I love who you are". Words of affirmation are words of love.
3. Gifts - From big to small. Flowers. Gifts. Cards. Cars. Houses. Jewelry. Stuffed Animals. Clothing. A gift can be a great gift of love. Some people feel most loved with a gift.
4. Acts of Service - Cooking dinner, washing the car, running an errand, cleaning the house, helping with a task, time spent in contribution to another.
5. Physical Touch - Affection. Massage. Making love. Of course, everyone has their favorite way to be touched. And, touch equals love to many.
Knowing these 5 Love Languages allows you to GIVE and RECEIVE love from others more fully. Of course, we all can appreciate and enjoy each "love language", however there is typically one or two that make you feel MOST LOVED. Which one is your primary love language? How do YOU show love toward those you love? What we tend to do for others, is often a clue to what we enjoy receiving most.
"If you express love in a way your partner doesn't understand, he or she won't realize you've expressed love. Perhaps your husband needs to hear encouraging words, but you feel like cooking a nice dinner will cheer him up. When he still feels down, you're puzzled. Or, maybe your wife craves time with you -- time away from the kids & TV. The flowers you gave her just don't communicate that you care."
--- The 5 Love Languages
How I've used the "5 Love Languages"...
1. Noticing my own "love language"......what makes me feel most loved? Then, I can ask for more of what I want. For me, that's "Quality Conversation/Time", and Affection.
2. FEELING more love from others, even if they don't know about the 5 Love Languages. If anyone in my life gives me quality time, a word of affirmation, a gift, an act of service or is affectionate with me......I take it as LOVE now. So, as a result, I feel much more love from my friends, family and significant others.
3. Noticing "others" Love Language, so that I can ensure my friends, family AND significant others feel the love I have toward them. It's not just about romantic relationships. And, it's more fun spending quality time, giving a word of affirmation, a gift, an act of service, or affection.....because I'm "intentionally" sending more love with each of these.
Get "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.....and learn more about applying these concepts in your life to maximize the love you give and receive in your relationships.

Dating - The Body Language Game

2007-07-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

You¡¯ve spent the past three weekends sitting at home. The first weekend you spent watching the crack on the ceiling grow. The second weekend changed your life.... that¡¯s the weekend that you discovered Meet2Go and your new life of dating and fun began. Last weekend, you waded through the dozens of emails and found the one. Or at least, he was the top on your list. Okay, he was top on the list for this weekend. Next weekend, you already have a new number one picked out. For the first time, finding a compatible, attractive date was the easy part. And it didn¡¯t involve your Mother, Aunt, or hair dresser. There is a lot of preparation that needs to be done, and not much time to do it. Aside from finding a new outfit to wear and making sure that everything is perfect, the big question is ¡°how do I know what he¡¯s thinking
Eye Contact: One of the first things to notice is his eye contact. Of course he¡¯s looking at you, but is his gaze fixed on you? People who are interested tend to hold eye contact for a few extra seconds. Not long enough to be considered staring, and thus scaring, but long enough to take the person in. If you¡¯re able to, watch his pupils. If they dilate, it¡¯s often an uncontrollable sign of interest. However, this is a hard one to master.

Body Position: Is he facing you squarely, or positioned away from you? If your ¡°target¡± is truly interested, men (and ladies!) tend to position themselves squarely at the person which they are talking to, presumable to pay full attention to that person. Ever talk to someone while they¡¯re angled 45 degrees and reading the paper? Without saying a word, you know that this person isn¡¯t interested. If the person is squared up with you, like a tackle getting ready to sack the quarterback, you know that they¡¯re interested. Hopefully not in tackling you, or at least not until after dinner!

The Touch Barrier: Outside of shaking hands, we tend only to touch people that we find attractive. And this all starts with a little touch. It may start with him telling an animated story and putting his hand on your arm while he acts out a scene, or helping you navigate through a crowed restaurant. Once the touch barrier is broken, all things can change.

Online Dating: 12 Steps To Get Noticed And Get A Date Online

2007-07-06T01:38:00.000-07:00

If you want to achieve success with online dating, you will need to educate yourself with the online dating scene. Online dating sites provide a service for people to meet but a dating site can only do so much of the work and input is required from you if you are serious about meeting a partner online.
Whilst thousands of people are joining dating sites every day, hundreds are not making the most of the services a dating site has to offer. I’m no psychic but I’m pretty certain that someone who writes a dull or uninformative profile, doesn’t include a photo and makes no effort to contact anyone will not be inundated with invitations for a date.
By making a few simple changes to the way you are dating online, you could see instant results meeting people you would never have met before so don’t be a wallflower, stand out online and be proactive in your search for a date.
1. Sell Yourself
Your profile is like an advertisement and you need to sell yourself in the dating game.
The eye-catching part of you profile is your photo. Include a photo of yourself (not someone else or a cartoon!) and you could increase your responses by as much as 8 times.
Answer all questions honestly, be positive, focus on your good points and provide members with just enough information about yourself so that they are eager to find out more. Please don’t talk about exes or how miserable your life is…. it won’t attract people to you!
2. Search outside of the box
We may all have an idea of our ideal partner but just because someone is slightly younger, older or from a different town doesn’t mean they won’t turn out to be your ideal partner! Most dating sites provide a search facility to vary your search settings so if your search results don’t reveal anyone who catches your eye try widening your search settings.
3. Get intimate anonymously
The beauty of online dating is that you can get to know someone without revealing any personal details. Emails are sent using an anonymous messaging facility so take advantage of this and spend as long as you wish getting to know someone. Don’t feel pressured into meeting up with someone you have just met online. If they are serious, they will be happy to wait if this is your preference.
4. Make the first move
Don’t be shy – you make the first move. Remember everyone online is serious about meeting someone so, if you see someone you like, contact him or her first. Don’t wait for someone to contact you.
5. Make conversation
Show your interest - The best way to get someone’s attention and get a response is to ask a question specific to his or her profile. This shows you have read their profile and are interested in them.
Flatter them! - Don’t be afraid to use your charm! Whether you like their photo or you are impressed by the fact that they have run the marathon – tell them. Everyone likes receiving compliments.
Make them laugh! - I think if you can make someone laugh or someone makes you laugh, you’re on the path to a good relationship. Be witty and amusing in your messages and they will look forward to hearing from you.
Be flirtatious, not rude! – Don't be afraid to flirt a little if that's how you feel but equally don't be too flirtatious as it could be taken the wrong way. Never talk about sex or imply this is what you are looking for.
6. Keep a little mystique!
Whilst I would encourage you to talk openly and honestly about yourself so that people get to know you try not to tell your whole life story in one e-mail. Hold a little something back for the next message.
7. Arrange a chat room date
Chat rooms are another great way to chat instantly with someone without revealing any personal information. A quality chat room will also provide the facility to have a private one-to-one chat with someone so if you’ve messaged someone, why not invite them to meet you in the chat room at a specific time and day… just like a “real” date. You can then decide whether you want to take it further “offline”.
8. Chat on the phone
If you’re thinking of arranging a date with someone, chat to him or her on the telephone first but use the blocking feature to prevent your number appearing on Caller ID. Go over topics that you’ve mentioned in emails to verify that what he or she has told you is the truth. Ask yourself if the voice you are talking to is someone you feel comfortable with and someone you could trust.
9. Don’t be disheartened
If you’ve sent a message but haven’t received a reply, don’t be disheartened. There could be many reasons why someone hasn’t replied to a message you’ve sent; the recipient may not have logged on for a while, their membership may have lapsed or they may not be a full member entitling them to reply back to you.
If you’ve sent one message then follow it up with a second message to show him or her that you are genuinely interested. If you still don’t get a response, move on to the next person!
10. Give people a chance
If you receive a message from someone who does not immediately tick all of your boxes, don’t rule them out straight away. Reply back to him or her and try and find out a bit more about them. You may have more in common than you first thought and, if not, at least you can say you tried.
11. Be polite when rejecting
If you don’t like someone who has contacted you, do not be rude or offensive. You can either ignore them (hopefully this will get the message across) or politely tell them you are not interested. A reputable dating site will provide a facility to “block” nuisances sending you messages so, if someone is pestering you, don’t be afraid to use this tool.
12. Be safe!
Do not give anyone your home telephone number, address or workplace address until you have met a number of times and are 100% comfortable with that person. Remember that people can be whoever they want to be online - wait until your instincts tell you this is someone you can trust.

Interracial Dating Online by BRIAN SMITH

2007-06-28T02:26:00.000-07:00

Have a Photo
In this day and age of online dating a photo is a
must. Posting an up to date photo is also
essential.
Make sure it's nice, clear and flattering. But
not too flattering. You want to look like the
person in the photo when you actually meet your
date. You don't want one where it's dark and hard
to see what you look like. Make sure it's bright
and close up with just your head and shoulders in
the picture. The better the quality of your photo
the more response you will get.
It's the first thing anyone will look at.
Your profile is selling you
Remember your profile is selling YOU. What would
you want to read in a profile that would make
that single stand out from the rest? Try out more
than one dating site. Vary your profile a little
bit in each one and see which gets the most
responses. Remember, you are paying for the
privilege to post your profile and get to know
eligible singles. Make your profile reflect this.
Take your time
Take your time when creating your profile. This
will make you look like a more serious online
dater as well. There's no point in rushing it. It'
s there to be clicked on, not ignored.
Refine your profile
Go back to your profile once in a while. Refine
it with subtle changes. You might go back to it
one day and say "Did I right that about myself!"
A small change could make the difference in
getting more attention. So use these online
dating profile tips and take your time and put a
bit of forethought into it, and then you will...

The First Steps to Dating Online -By Joe Davidson

2007-06-18T23:58:00.000-07:00

For many newcomers taking the first step into online dating may be daunting. With all the online dating services that are available now, how do you choose which is best for you? How do you get started? What's the best approach for messaging? What do you put in a profile? How do you guarantee your own safety? What are the best strategies for successful online dating? These are just a few of the questions new online daters face all the time. But with a bit of advice, practically everyone can find success in online dating. Here are a few brief tips:

One of the most important things for newcomers to dating online is which service to use. The first step in making this decision is to determine the specific needs that should be met by the dating service, and find websites that cater to those needs. For example, while some dating services cater specifically to casual encounters, some are designed to make matches for serious relationships only, while a few target people who are looking specifically for someone to start an affair with. Other important things to look for are price. For many people just starting out, free sites can be a good introduction to the online dating world that doesn't involve a financial commitment. It's also a good idea to browse around and see if the members who are already signed up for the site share similar tastes and interests.

Once an online dating service is selected, it's time to get started on creating a profile. Needless to say, profiles are a very important part of online dating. Members of online dating services find out about each other, and decide if they want to introduce themselves, based on the information in a profile. Because of this, its important to make a positive, truthful impression by keeping the information light and inviting. A good rule of thumb is to avoid any negative information in a profile whatsoever. The most important thing to include in a profile is a clear, smiling picture that focuses on the member's face.

After completing a profile, users can start messaging other members. The key to messaging is to make messages personable, friendly, and make it evident that the profile of the person being sent the message has been read. It's crucial to make the recipient feel as though the message sender is actually interested in them, rather than being one of many people who has been messaged. Respond to specific aspects of their profile and keep the message light and friendly. Also, remember to ask a question in the message to give the person something to respond to.

Finally, safety is one of the most important issues in online dating. It's crucial to remember not to include any personal or private information in the profile. Never divulge personal information like credit card numbers to anyone, and keep information like home address, email address and phone numbers confidential until you're completely comfortable and ready to. Meeting someone in person should also only be done with caution. Meetings should take place in public spaces, with all necessary precautions taken.

Actions for Reconciliation of Friends

2007-06-11T21:34:00.001-07:00

There is a sad tendency loosing touch with people as time goes by so older people seem to have less friends. Of course the reason of that is not death of people its more like time erases them from our hearts. The problem is that people just don’t seem to try to save relationships or put at least any effort into saving them, of course it is much easier to let everything go itself and let friendship be ruined with time or distance. According to survey results the relationships which were acquired during college years are the strongest ones. Also it is estimated that separation of people is the most spread reason of depression, solitude and low level of life.

If two friends don’t speak to each other for a long time and one of them wants to restore their relationships the first thing he has to do is analyzing what could bring them to that point. Everyone’s character changes with time that’s why normally friendship can’t be perfect all the time. There can be very many reasons of break down like different points of view on important questions, moral principles, relationships with other people and their influence or simple a negative attitude caused with a bad mood. These reasons can be absurd and childish but situation gets very serious when it is anything connected with personal values or treachery. The starting point of connecting two people is finding major reasons of break down because further actions depend only on them.
After the causes were determined it’s time to find right words and manner to motivate both sides to resolve their confrontation. A person needs to realize that it’s not a time for finding mistakes or taking one’s side, he has to think impartially and logically. It is of great importance to what was the biggest offense of each side and then use it during the conversation as a target to alter the conviction of the friends.

Labors of Love

2007-06-04T22:02:00.000-07:00

When writing romance, there comes a point in many stories where our characters' love is put to test. It may be that they have to dodge temptation, or that they have a task to perform, which results in proving their commitment. Whatever the case may be, we look forward to finding out the characters' reactions and what happens after the challenge is completed.
In romance stories, after the characters fall for each other, usually something happens which causes a rift between them. The character's challenge then becomes to win his or her love back. For example, the character could build something, paint a portrait, or write poetry as a testimony of love. The size of the project is sometimes magnificent, but what matters most is the fact that the character attempted anything at all.
In Nicholas Sparks's The Notebook, Noah builds Allie her dream house even after they have parted ways. Years passed, yet his feelings for her never died. His heart helped him conquer the ultimate labor of love in hopes that she would return. At the time, he hadn't any idea if she'd see what he had done to prove his love.
Shah Jahan, the Mughal Emperor had the Taj Mahal built for his wife, Mumtaz Mahal after she died. She was his second wife and quickly became favored among the rest. He spent over fifteen years working along the sides of craftsman to aid in creating this resting palace for his wife.The intricate details and marvelous structure of the Taj Mahal should be enough to show how much he adored Mumtaz.
In San Antonio, Texas, one can find a particularly ornate window on an otherwise barren wall of the San Jose Mission. The Rose Window, as featured in the movie Still Breathing, was supposedly carved over many years by sculptor Pedro Huizar as a monument to his sweetheart, Rosa. When Pedro completed the window, he sent for Rosa to return, but she had died in a shipwreck. He spent the remainder of his life dedicated to working on the entrance to the church, and never had another romantic relationship after Rosa's death.
Whether you're in love, or whether it's platonic love, the boundaries to what people think they would or wouldn't do seem to change. There's been many times when I've heard, people professing things they'd do for a loved one and where they draw the line. You could contemplate your own answers to the question, "How far would you be willing to go for love?" However, isn't it true that nobody really knows that answer until they come face to face with the obstacles at hand?

Ways to Ask a Friend Out For a Date

2007-05-30T21:24:00.000-07:00

This question leaves most people in big dilemma whether to ask a friend out for a date or not. What is the friendship gets affected by this. What if I get rejected? There are many other such similar questions which might arise in your mind as well read on to find out what can be done.

Be direct- If you really like your friend and would like to go out with him/her do not hesitate just step up and ask them out for a date. Do not worry about what the outcome may be. Just take the first step as that is all what you need to do. This is where most people miss out. They do not even make an effort to let their friends know the way they feel that it gets too late or maybe their friend finds someone else. Never keep your feelings inside just let them out and now is the time. Never wait for tomorrow as you never know what tomorrow might have in store for you.
Wait for the right time- You do not want to catch your friend in a bad mood when you reveal your true feelings to them. Remember when a human being is happy they have a positive reaction to most of the things around them. Therefore doing this at the right time is very important.

Be original- Pour your heart out; let your friend know your true inner feelings. Nothing can match what really comes from you heart if your feelings are genuine your friend would have a real hard time to say no. When people give more love they tend to get more. Follow the same strategy. Let him/her know why you feel this way also that you do understand that not all friendships turn into romance but you can’t help the way you feel.

Do not fear rejection- Many people fear rejection so much that they do not even give a shot. Just say what you have in your mind. Otherwise it might bug you for the rest of your life. Also if you get rejected remember one thing it is not the end of the original friendship. You will remain friends forever no matter what. Always have a positive outlook and if you do get turned down just be polite and let the things be as they used to be like before.

How To Use Creative Visualization to Manifest Your Ideal Mate

2007-05-27T22:38:00.000-07:00

Using the Creative Visualization process to manifest your ideal mate, it's important that you envision your ideal partner, and empower yourself and your vision.

Once you've created (or regained) a sense of positive self-esteem, move towards experiencing the feeling of joy and love. Reach for thoughts such as "I am grateful," "I am in love," "I am loving, "I am joyous." Then, be willing to never have it happen.

What???!!!! Yes, it's true, you have to be willing to never have it happen. You have to be willing to trust in the Divine Order of life and let it all be okay, no matter what. You have to practice detaching yourself from this vision, in order for the vision to have a chance to manifest.
One exercise (a detachment visualization) that I find particularly easy and effective is to visualize my goal. Then when I feel a sense of joy that it is coming to me and I can confidently expect it, I surround the vision in a pink bubble and allow it to float away. I imagine it floating loftily away in the wind, getting smaller and smaller, floating into the clouds and finally disappearing.

I wave lovingly (not longingly) to it, speaking confidently, "I surrender to this or something better coming into my life in perfect timing, and I let it go now. I accept that all things are perfect, exactly as they are and I am at peace. I am at peace with the Divine Order of life and I detach from this vision, knowing that what is meant to be, will be, now. I am at peace, and I let it go."

Now for the secret key of Creative Visualization - Manifest at the speed of light with the Manifesting Mambo!

You want to FEEL the emotion of love, not just say it. So dance around, hop on one foot, flap your arms, jump around, or whatever it takes to get yourself excited and feeling powerfully passionate about your vision. Fake the feeling, until the feeling becomes real to you.

One client of mine danced her way to the altar -- the manifesting mambo has the power to create with the speed of light, all of your dreams.

So let me outline how to visualize successfully:
A) Clarify what you want
B) Envision your desired outcome
C) Monitor your emotions, and adjust your thoughts
D) Detach from your desire
E) Do the manifesting mambo
f you are not willing to take these steps, then you need to know that somewhere down inside you don't really want what you say you do. There must be some pay-off to not having your desire.

Can a Good Friend Become A Good Partner?

2007-05-23T21:20:00.000-07:00

Friendship and love both are so dissimilar and both are so similar to each other! A lover is considered the best friend in our life. We share most of our thoughts with our romantic partner. Then why cannot a good friend become a good lover? Or is that possible to do successfully? Many of us are worried that by romantically involving with our friend we may loose our friend and never gain a lover.

See:-
What are the differences between friendship and love? When do we call a person our friend? When do we call someone a very good friend?For us, a good friend we must have these qualities in the friendship-
If we care for a person
If we are always ready to help that person
If we share most of our thoughts with a person.
We are always sure that our friend understands why we act in a certain way
We can always count upon our good friends in an emergency.
Are these not the qualities of a good romantic relationship? What is the difference? In romantic love, we are physically attracted to our beloved. Our beloved is also physically attracted towards us. That may not happen in friendship. This is the first difference. For most of us romantic relationships happen because there is something in the other person that magnetically draws us to them. That does not happen in friendship.
Friendship and romantic relationship look to be very much like each other, but in reality they are as different as cheese and chalk. If you wish to have your friend as your romantic partner, you need to think again. You may be about to loose a good friend. You may not get a romantic relationship in bargain but only pain may result from this. Better to avoid this.

7 quirky facts about chemistry-By Laura Schaefer

2007-05-22T00:21:00.000-07:00

If you think clicking with another person is all about fate, destiny or a fairy godmother, think again! There’s actually some (very) weird science at work... and here’s proof:

1. Like go-get-’em types? Look for a long fourth finger. Here’s why: If your date’s ring finger is longer than his or her index finger, it’s an indication that he or she was exposed to higher than average amounts of testosterone in the womb, says Dr. John T. Manning of Rutgers University in his book Digit Ratio. This correlates to a personality which tends to be logical, decisive, and ambitious. If these traits tickle your fancy, stick around.

2. Adrenaline is the new oyster. Skip the shellfish, and do something daring to bond with a new honey. Research by Arthur Aron and Donald Dutton shows that adrenaline ups our interest in a potential mate. Male subjects in the study were asked to cross two kinds of bridges (one shaky, one sturdy) to talk to an attractive female “researcher” giving a questionnaire. Upon completing the task, the woman gave each subject her phone number. Those subjects who met the woman on the shaky bridge were more likely to call and more likely to ask her on a date. The reason? The exhilaration of being in a risky situation rubs off on the person you’re with, so if you’re looking for some instant sparks on a date, try something a little scary (roller coasters, scary movie, or white-water rafting, anyone?).

3. Women do want to date their fathers. Or, at least, date someone who smells like him. In one study by geneticist Carole Ober, female subjects were asked to sniff t-shirts of various scents and then state their preferences. Over and over again, subjects chose the odors that closely matched those of their dads. So, guys, if you make it to a “meet the parents” moment, take a peek in their medicine cabinet, and splash on some of Dad’s aftershave to seal the deal.

4. Don’t let your married friends weigh in on your love life. Think your hitched pals can help you detect good chemistry with a date? Um, no… Science has revealed that your married friends are clueless when they try to give you dating advice. In one study, psychologist Frank Bernieri asked 168 subjects to watch video clips of couples and rate how in love they were. Subjects who were in relationships guessed wrong again and again compared to their single peers. So the next time your friend with the rock on her finger waxes poetic on the intricacies of your love life, smile serenely and then get a second opinion.

5. There’s such a thing as “Pill goggles.” Consider these the first cousin to beer goggles—if you’re taking the birth-control pill, ladies, your taste in men may take a turn. That’s because birth control pills affect women’s hormone levels and to whom they are attracted. In one study, researcher Tony Little showed women different images of men and asked them to make their picks. Results show that women on birth control pills tended to choose men with more pronounced masculine features than those who weren’t on the Pill. The downside here? These manly traits are linked to high testosterone levels, aggressive behavior, and even higher divorce rates. So if you’re on the Pill, don’t turn a blind eye to those red flags… your contraception could cloud your judgment and lead you to fall for a less-than-wonderful guy.

6. The longer you’re together, the more simpatico you’ll become. Do you feel the chemistry getting stronger and stronger every day? Are you finishing one another’s sentences? Feeling as if you share one personality? You two may really be merging, says researcher Cameron Anderson, who interviewed 60 couples and roommates. By gauging his subjects’ reactions to a film after they had lived together one year, Anderson found that their personalities tend to converge over time, though the dominant partner changes his or her personality less.

7. Goose those chemicals to keep passion cooking. Those heady feelings of new love do fade over time, but there is an easy way couples in a rut can get ’em back: by trying novel things together, whether that’s traveling to foreign lands or even just breaking out the Zagat guide to try a totally new restaurant rather than your old stand-by. That’s because new experiences trigger the same chemical reaction in the body as love, says researcher Helen Fisher, author of Why We Love. So get out there and have an adventure, lovebirds, to keep boredom at bay.

Problems Understanding Friendships Via Online Dating

2007-05-21T03:34:00.000-07:00

A Net dating service, also known as online dating or internet dating, is an example of a dating system and allows individuals, couples and groups to meet online and possibly develop a romantic or sexual relationship. Net dating services provide un-moderated matchmaking through the use of personal computers, the Internet, or even cell phones

It is arguably very difficult for people to establish meaningful relationships with those they can't see or interact with. Without the verbal and physical cues that assist in gauging a person's emotions and feelings, there is a high possibility of deception. However, many who maintain online relationships contest that not seeing the other person actually helps relationships develop, and that they have fewer social inhibitions without the expectations that ordinary face-to-face contact engenders.

Others acknowledge that the lack of face-to-face contact can cheapen internet friendships, and that it could be considered shallow of them to want to see who they are talking to, thus implying that their friends' appearances could change how they think of them.There can be a variety of problems with using online dating sites. Some sites expect members to sign up "blind", eHarmony for example, with no preview of the type of profiles they will get to see. On other sites, some profiles are not actually real people, but "bait" put there by the site owners to attract new paying members.Most members are enticed to join dating websites with free or low-priced "trial" memberships advertised on many other websites. These trial memberships lack many of the features of the full membership, including the ability to contact other members or reply to e-mail from other members. On sites which require credit card information to join at all, these trial memberships often automatically become full memberships at the end of the trial period and charge the full monthly fee, without any additional action from the member and regardless of whether the member has actually used the services or not. For paying members, it is often unclear whether a potential contact has a full subscription and whether he or she will be able to reply at all.

Matrimonials Sites are a variant of online dating sites, and these are geared towards meeting people for the purpose of getting married. Gross misrepresentation is less likely on these sites than on 'casual dating' sites. Casual dating sites are often geared more towards short term (and implicitly sexual) relationships.

Friendship contrasted with comradeship

2007-05-18T02:01:00.000-07:00

Friendship can be mistaken for comradeship. Comradeship is the feeling of affinity that draws people together in time of war or when people have a mutual enemy or even a common goal. Former ''New York Times'' war correspondent Chris Hedges wrote:

"We feel in wartime comradeship. We confuse this with friendship, with love. There are those, who will insist that the comradeship of war is love &m dash; the exotic glow that makes us in war feel as one people, one entity, is real, but this is part of war's intoxication. As this feeling dissipated in the weeks after the attack, there was a kind of nostalgia for its warm glow and wartime always brings with it this comradeship, which is the opposite of friendship. Friends are predetermined; friendship takes place between men and women who possess an intellectual and emotional affinity for each other. But comradeship – that ecstatic bliss that comes with belonging to the crowd in wartime – is within our reach. We can all have comrades."

As a war ends, or a common enemy recedes, comrades return to being strangers, who lack friendship and have little in common.

Developmental issues in Friendship

2007-05-14T00:21:00.000-07:00

In the sequence of the emotional development of the individual, friendships come after parental bonding and before the pair bonding engaged in at the approach of maturity. In the intervening period between the end of early childhood and the onset of full adulthood, friendships are often the most important relationships in the emotional life of the Adolescence|adolescent and are often more intense than relationships later in life. However making friends seems to trouble lots of people; sometimes going years without a single friend can lead to suicide.

Physical manifestations In Frienship

2007-05-13T21:36:00.000-07:00

Friends usually will engage in various forms of physical contact, at times spontaneous and other times of a ritualized nature. This is often used as an outward symbol of their friendship. The form and context of the physical contact has varied historically, culturally, and developmentally. In the West, these manifestations, with the exception of the more formal ones, can be seen with greater frequency among young children, opposite sex friends, and among female friends. In the East they are more equally distributed.

Types:-
*Handshakes. This is a more formalized type of contact, frequent among older individuals and only denoting feelings of friendship if emphasized.
*Holding hands
*High five
*Hugging
**Pound hug:- This embrace, primarily used by young males, has become popular among Western subgroups because it expresses affection while maintaining a remote posture, so as to preclude any homosexuality|homosexual connotations.
*Walking arm-in-arm
*Placing an arm over the other's shoulder or waist
*Kissing
*Eskimo kissing
*Imitation of fight (e.g. a punch on the shoulder, most common among young males)

Lets be Friends -True Friends Meet Here

2007-05-08T02:09:00.000-07:00

A friend - A person you know well and regard with affection and trust.
A person with whom you are acquainted.

Friendship:-It is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behaviour between two or more humans.In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection.Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them. Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:

the tendency to desire what is best for the other,
sympathy and empathy,
honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth,
mutual understanding

Affection:-Is an emotion that derives from the recognition of one's own values in the character of another.

Relationship:-They are social associations, connections, or affiliations between two or more people who may interact overtly, covertly, face to face or may remain effectively unknown to each other such as those in a virtual community who maintain anonymity and do not socialize outside of a chat room.

History of Friendship:

Friendship is considered one of the central human experiences, and has been sanctified by all major religions. The Epic of Gilgamesh , a Babylonian poem that is among the earliest known literary works in history, chronicles in great depth the friendship between [[Gilgamesh]] and [[Enkidu]]. The [[Greek religion|Greco-Roman]] had, as a paramount example, the friendship of [[Orestes]] and [[Pylades]]. The have the story of [[David and Jonathan]]. The Christian Gospels state that [[Jesus Christ]] declared, "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends."(John 15:13)

Common Type of friendship:-

Boyfriend Girlfriend
Friends with benefits
Online friendship(dating)
Open relationship
Sexualized friendship